Shadow Void

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Another’s Kiss

After everything was explained to Pete's mom, she consented to let me visit her son at the hospital. My mom drove me up just minutes after Pete's mom cleared me with the hospital's front desk via the phone. I didn't want to stay long, because I hate hospitals. They stink like the nursing mom that my great grandmother Daniels was in after her stroke. Walking up to the front desk, I imagined that the staff knew my visit was partially driven by guilt. Pete's mom's words filled me with a twisted guilt. "I'm here to see Pete Franklin." The older gentlemen behind the desk spoke as he looked into my eyes "He's in room 420. Go to the 4^th floor and head to the left." I hate this sterile stench. I'm also getting a case of the butterflies. Room 420, I've arrived.

 

His is open so I just walk into the room. "Hey Pete!" I said as he hid his hands under his covers. "Alex, where is Doug?" He seemed shocked, and yet pleased that Doug wasn't with me. "He's not here! How are you doing?" He was quiet for a few seconds before looking at me and replying "I've been better. The food here really stinks but the view is pretty good from here?" I thought he was talking about me, but his eyes lead straight out his window. His room overlooks the river walk, and he's right the view is great. I returned my vision to Pete. "So when are they going to release you?" "Not for another day at least, the shrink wants to make sure that my head is screwed on right. You know what; it's really good to see you. I'm sorry for being an ass. I've had to admit to myself that I'm bi…" "I think that is awesome!" No, I don't, not really. Not if he still wants to be with me. "…and that I can't be jealous of what Doug and you have. Since I can't be with you, would it be okay to have a kiss?" I should tell him no. What if Doug found out? Doug is everything that I need and want. I don't want this kiss to mean anything. I leaned in for the kiss and Pete rose up to meet my lips.

 

Pete not only gave e me a kiss, but his kiss was charged with heat. Its warmth seemed to flow through me. We never embraced each other but there was a yearning for an embrace with me. For a brief moment, all I could feel was the strength in the kiss. I selfishly want the kiss to last. It then dawned on me that I needed to break off the kiss. Pete seemed happy with himself. He had taken a part of me and I seemed to have taken a part of him with me.

 

I felt something. There was no doubt that at some level I loved my friend. No…no, I love Doug. This thought of loving Pete is wrong. Yes, there is something running through me. I belong to someone else. My body, my heart, and my mind all belong to Doug.

 

 

Man Of The Woods

The name "Orangutan" means "Wild Person" or "Man of the Woods". Science now identifies two different species of the red ape, the Bornean Orangutan ( Pongo pygmaues ) and the Sumatran Orangutan ( Pongo abelii ). Orangutans in appear are the least humanoid out of all the great apes. It is also the second largest of the great apes. They are 5 feet long and have a 7 foot arm span. Those long arms allow them to move through the rainforest canopy. They can weigh from 66 lbs to 200 lbs. They feed on a variety of food sources from dates, leaves, bark, flower buds, flowers, insects, eggs, small vertebrates, and even mineral rich soils. Like all other great apes, the orangutan is known for tool making. During rain showers, an orangutan will pluck a large leaf which is used as an umbrella. They spend the night high in the trees in a bed made of leaves and branches. Orangutans are primarily a solitary creature though from time to time females may travel together and feed together. Male however are strictly solitary only meeting female Orangutans for mating. Males use loud booming calls to announce themselves. Orangutans reach sexual maturity between the ages of 7 to 15 years of age. Female orangutans give birth to one baby every 3 to 4 years. The young may stay with the mother for close to 8 years. These apes can live for 60 years. Sadly, they are endangered. The Bornean Orangutan numbers in the 12,000 to 15,000, and the Sumatran Orangutan 3,000 to 5,000. These wonderful creatures are poached for the pet trade and the zoo trade, though I am not sure how many the zoo trade actually takes. They are seriously threatened by habitat destruction. In fact deforestation is the animal's biggest threat.

Now that you've had a glance into their lives, we need to address the pet trade and deforestation. When it comes to pet orangutans, most people do not want adult orangutans. They want a baby orangutan. Have you ever seen a mother who wouldn't' fight for their young? I can't prove it but I would like to bet that the mother is usually shot or possibly snared to make capture of the youngster easier. You can also pretty much guess they aren't cheap. You can expect to pay $4,000 or more dollars for one. Of course, that would make you part of the problem. The pet trade is a problem and just not for orangutans. Deforestation is problem all around the globe. Each is changing the face of the earth and helping to eliminate species. Some species are as well known as the orangutan but others maybe no bigger than an ant. It's a problem not just for animals but for plants as well. Those trees take a long time to reach their crowning glory. Some trees even have a host of other plant species that grow on them, which could be lost. Our demand for lumber is changing ecosystems across our world. Much of the lumber is being sent to western countries to fill the demand for exotic lumber. We need to do our part to easy this demand for exotic wood.

Orangutan Foundation International

Orangutan - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

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NBC ‘S New Show

What in the world is wrong with people? The baby borrower's, I already know having a baby is rough. Maybe this show is good in that it might stop kids from making big mistakes. If it keeps one teen couple from having a child awesome. What happens though to the teen couple who succeeds in this show? Are they going to hook up and create new life? I watched a part of the show tonight and turned it off. While, I do see some merit in the show as previously mentioned, I don't find it entertaining. If I had a child, I don't know if I could just hand the baby over to complete strangers. Yeah…okay they have camera set up. Yeah, the parents can watch the cameras. I still don't like the idea behind this show. What do you think?

Listen to Scotty Dynamo

I don't usually listen to rap, but after visiting BreakTheIllusion.com, I discovered Scotty Dynamo.  This guy is only 18 and he's awesome.  He isn't picked up yet, but you can listen to him at his Myspacepage:

Listen to his rap

 

Something for The 4th

In the shadows of the Park, he sleeps in cardboard box. He was to be a soldier and was proud to fight; the good fight. He saw a lot of blood, heard life escape from the lips of other humans, and had one too many close calls. Along the way, he saved more than one wounded comrade and even took a bullet, so that one more friend could walk away from a battle instead of being carried out on a stretcher. He was carried out that day and flown from the front so he could he rest up and heal. Home, he was sent because he could no longer stay and fight. At the state, he had to move on and go back to the life that he had before he went to fight; a fight he believed was right. He quickly found that life was not the way, it was when he left. The many battles his eyes took in could not be erased and they lived on inside his mind. Each bomb blast, the buzzing of the bullets still whams and zings in his ears. Sometimes it seems like he's still overseas fighting the enemy because his mind won't let him leave the front. He tries to block it from his mind by being busy; by writing by doing anything expect for being at war. Sadly, he lost his fight, he couldn't keep himself busy enough to block out the war going on in his mind. No longer could he lock it away by occupying other thoughts. In despair he reached for a bottle that quickly made the war go away, but as fast as it vanished, it reappeared with the aftershocks of being drunk in its wake. His new found magical tonic only lead to bigger problems he lost his job, lost his wife, and lost his home. All of this doesn't change the fact that the man who sleeps in the box in the park and tried every day to blind the war within with that bottle that he carries is still a vet; still a soldier who fought for us, when he didn't have to at all. Somehow when we see him out and about asking for money so he can quiet his mind's revisited battles, we need to remember that once upon a brighter day, he stood brave and tall as a soldier in America forces. It's not to feed his thirst for his elixir of forgetfulness, but we need to honor him for the service that, he performed while fighting overseas.

Word of Wisdom

For those of you who aren't LDS (Mormon), the word of wisdom is a health code (Commandment) , that was given in 1833. In it, we are told to abstain from wine and other strong drinks. We are told to abstain from tobacco; while we are told not to use it for recreational purposes, we are told that it can be used for farm animals. Hot drinks are also not to be used; now to clarify hot drinks doesn't include hot chocolate. It does include coffee and tea. It doesn't include herbal teas. I am pretty sure that it has something to do with caffeine. If you think about it, that makes perfect sense, since caffeine is addictive. All wholesome herbs are given for our use as long as a plant or fruit is in season, than it is good for our use. Meat of animals is given for our use with the understanding that it is to be used in moderation. Grains are given for our use. It is also understood that any harmful substance that we might put into our bodies goes against the word of wisdom i.e. drugs.

 

I wanted to make a post on this subject because, I've had friends ask me about it. This commandment is one that comes easy for me. It's the way that I was brought up. It's always been easy to abstain from drugs, cigarettes or alcoholic drinks. Sure, I've had them offered but I've turned them down. Yeah, I've been teased too. This post is not meant to call anyone from repentance. It's purely for your information. It's another glimpse into my world. Say what you will, but I know that if I were to go against this commandment that my body would be as strong as it is. In other words, I would really have problems. It is a blessing in my life. Yes, it's one of the things that I love about the church. No, I'm not perfect and I doubt that I will be. Anyway, I'm gone.

My Last Dream

A couple nights ago, I had a dream. The location of the dream was my brother's yard. It was a beautiful day outside. Nobody seemed to be home at their house. There are times that I make the walk down the driveway to go enter the backyard just to play with his dogs. As I headed down the driveway and got closer to the garage. I could hear someone messing around in there. I opened the gate and opened the side door. I didn't get it opened very far when I saw the shadow of man holding a gun. I must have spooked him because he came out at me his gun posed to fire. I managed only to move a few feet before he was on me and I woke up before the gun the gun was fired. So did it mean anything or was it just perfectly random? I have no clue!

Today’s Entry

Yeah…it's Saturday. I haven't got anything down at all. Got up early, trimmed my facial hair, and got dressed, so we could go to the church's yearly service project. As it happened mom was not ready to go, so I waited around for her. You know by the time, we got there it was basically over. Pretty much, I sat around and talked until after the short lunch, and then helped clean up. Helping with clean up was not as fulfilling as being there for the service project, but I suppose it helped nonetheless. Came home from the service project and laid down for a nap. You want to know what work me up. The sound of rain hitting the house, it was bright and sunny which gave the storm a strange feeling. Yes, there was a rainbow after the storm passed through. Tried getting my camera, but by the time, I grabbed my camera the rainbow had all but vanished. Now, I just want to enjoy some quiet time and my nephews are on my parent's computer. One is on the phone which is really bugging me. I really just wish they would go home. I hate when my dad gives them permission to be on the systems. I am not taking responsibility for them messing with the computers. Anyway, I am going to go but wanted to get this up on the blog.