Each and every Sunday, mytwo worlds come together in a blurred reality. Okay, well maybe not so much blurred on the queer end of things. I get to church and hope to be early, because it is my job to takes minutes during the services. I sit there and record everything from who is conducting the services that day, to the music that is going to be played and sang, down to the men and teenage boys who are passing and blessing the sacrament ( bread and water ). I also have to scan the chapel for the guy who does the attendance count. Why? If he isn't there, it's my job to get it done. At the end of services, it's my duty to get the tithe and all other contributions entered into the computer.
Today like any other Sunday, as I am scanning the chapel. I also end up taking in the cute guys in attendance. I try to play it cool. Today for example, I was listening to a speaker and there happened to be this handsome guy in my line of vision. It's not that I was intentionally staring in his direction. I tend to take in more of what's being said, if I focus on the speaker. Cute guy turns around and begins to look towards me. Now, I know he was not looking for me. He was looking for his wife. Still, I turned my attention towards the blank piece of paper in front of me. Why did I force you to read this paragraph? There was a purpose, I promise.
In church, I try my best not to glance at the handsome guys. Somehow, it doesn't seem right. There is another problem at church though. I haven't told anyone at church, besides a friend who was moved to another church building. Needless to say, no one at church should know that I am gay. There are times, when I get looks from the guys. Especialy the missionaries, it's almost like they know something. Maybe, all of that paranoria is guilty bubbling up. On the other hand, maybe someone has finally figured it out and is sharing it with other people. It wouldn't surprise me to find out, if someone knows and is warning the missionaries or any new comers about the gay guy amidst all the straight people. It shouldn't matter to them. Apart from a few simple glances, I don't pose a threat. Never at any time have I stood up in meeting and proclaimed that being gay is the greatest thing ever. It could be that, I'm just really weirded out. There are times, when I get the feeling like I am being judged by their glances. Could it be they feel threatened? Now why should they be threatened by little old me? Not quite brave enough to ask anyone what the stares are all about. I'm very much aware that I'm short, that I'm in need of a haircut, and that I'm thin. Hmm...maybe I should annonce from the pulpit next Sunday, that I am gay. Nope, bad idea! I don't want to give anyone a reason to throw rotten stares my way. Some of these people at church just seem like they would throw the book at me just because I'm gay. Forget the fact, that I'm with anyone. I mean that in every possible way. Being gay in the church makes things strange. More on that later! Thanks again for coming to the visit and come again.
It's been almost one year since this blog was born. This blog is worth having even if, all I do is make a post. Not every post is about the two different world's that I seem destined to live in for the rest of my life. Each post does share a piece of my world in it though. Some of the posts over the last year, have allowed to look into my heart and my soul. Over the next year, I will continue to post my hunks of the week. What I would like to do, is to find the strength in me to post more about my two worlds. I also want to thank those who read my blog. I want to thanks those who continue to revisit my site. I want to give a special shout out to those who have left comments. Your comments have encouraged me, and in some cases provided a new way to look at topic. I don't want this post to be long winded. Suffice it to say, that in May, this blog will turn 1 year old. Thanks for visiting and if you have never left a comment feel free to to say hi. I try my best to always leave a comment back or when I can to email you thank you for posting. Thanks again!
Here they are two of the new animals in my collection. Two more will be coming soon.
I want everyone to keep in mind, that these animals are pets, but they also serve as work animals. These animals are a part of the collection that gets used when I do a presentation. I apoogize for the quality of the pictures.
All of us by now have heard of Bush's No Child Left Behind Act. Well, there is a part of it that is posing a job risk to a friend of mine. There is test that all para's ( teacher's aides ) are being forced to take. You don't have to take the test if you have an associates degree or better. I have a major problem with this test. It's pretty much a standardized test. One size fits all, and it stinks. Not every teacher's aid is doing the same type of work. Even among those of working in special ed, there is a big difference between my job and the job of someone in L.R.E. I don't use algebra or geometry. My kids basically stop at a 2nd or 1st grade level. I'm not saying that those aren't important things to know, but they just don't affect my day to day. I brought this up, because, I have who is up in age. She shouldn't have to lose her job because, she can't pass the test. There is a set limit as to how many times, you can take the test and fail. I want to the say the total is two but it could be three. Any way, she flunked the first time. I don't get it. I have another friend who is working in a pre-school special ed. class, and she is being required to take it. Now come on does that really make sense to any of you?
While we are the subject of work, we've finally started the countdown at work. Yeah, I know it means an end to my paycheck for the year. I also know it means having a little time to recharge any needed batteries. We are at 28 days and counting! :)
There seems to be a never ending supply of horror movies lately. Most of them feature gore. What I see when the trailers appear on television is a never ending supply of gore films. Blood and guts just aren't scary to me. It's gross. Anymore, it seems that these movies consist of gore surrounded by plot. I don't see the point in most of it. I'd rather watch the old black and white horror films with all their silly special effects. Movies like Saw, Saw 2, and Hostel seem to focus on torture and death. Then again, these movies sell. The question is where did we jump from the implied gore of the older horror films to the graphic horror films of today? We've become desensitived to violence on the big screen. It comes down to our own personal tastes. I for one will not be seeing the gore horror flicks presently out.
On Wednesdayt of this past week, I spent the afternoon with my pets at school. Finally, I had a chance to do a run through of one of my presentations. Things went fine. The animals for the most part behaved themselves. The only problem is that my little orange baboon spider tried to escape. One of the joys involved with working around animals is having no control over their behavior. It's not the whole showing off my pets that is exciting. What gets me is the excitment from the kids? Love to see the kids enjoying the animals and learning about them. It's really, really awesome.
I brought this up because with Earth day just passed. It's important that we all look at our lives. If we found just one thing, that we can fix for the health of our planet and our fellow travelers on this journey.