I want to start off this post by warning you upfront that it may not make sense. Deal with it!
Unless you've been in our shoes, you don't know what it's like to be gay. I had a friend who didn't feel that I was completely gay, and there might be a few of you who read my blog who might think the same thing but I'm not going to address that here sorry. It's already been discussed and I am pretty sick of talking about it here. Anyway, I want to maybe remind you of a few things. Hopefully, someone will benefit from this.
Many of us come from a religious background that can make being gay a little rough. We are taught that being who we are goes against our most basic doctrine. We are taught that to reach the highest point in our salvation we must marry a woman. Yeah there is more to it than just that but you get the picture. We must also raise a family. We sometimes get treated as if there is something dangerous or vile about us. Not everyone experiences this type of treatment and for that I am very glad. It can be very hard to deal with who we are versus what the church wants us to be. This pressure can be very hard for some to juggle.
This rift will always be here, I'm afraid. It's can be hard to hear that we can't be with the person our hearts and minds tell us that we're attracted too. If we pursue it when what? I suppose it would excommunication. This event in a person's life could be a mixed blessing or a curse for some people. We can't allow the rift to consume us. Anything that drags us down into the blues isn't worth it.
Face it you don't want to go around in a funk. If something is dragging you down shake it off. Find something that you enjoy and do it. Hating yourself, punishing yourself isn't a fun way to live. I think from time to time we all fall prey to self loathing. What works for me usually when I start this downward spiral can be different at different times. It might be a phone call from a friend or me calling a friend. Sometimes, it's writing a blog or a poem. Heck, it might be just going outside and catching some sun.
It's very, very easy to turn your weaknesses against yourself. I find myself knocking myself occassionally and I'm usually in a state of depression when I do it. We all have weaknesses. It's just a part of mortal life. You want though, we all have strengths. Each of us have different strengths. Those strengths can be used to lift others up and we can use them to lift ourselves up.
Only stupid people use bigoted words. Words don't mean anything. Sure, they can hurt and offend us but they are just words. They're just vibrations created by our vocal chords and transformed by our mouths. So what does that mean to us, it means we need to raise above the bigots.
Finally, we need to be there for each other and support each other. Well with that I'm out of here.