So after my last post, I decided to let people know for those who might be new to my blog, a little bit about me and where I've been as a man in this life. Well, it's no secret that I am LDS ( Mormon ). Basically, I never served one of those two year missions, because in some ways I thought it would not be good place for a gay guy like me to be. I have no regrets about not going. Sure, there might be people who might have joined the church through me. I needed to be in school right after high school. With my disability in math, I needed my skills whatever they might have been at the time to be fresh in my mind. I needed to be in study mode so that I would still remember how to make good use of my time. I tried to be a good man and look for the "right" woman when deep inside what I wanted was a "right" man. I never found the right woman, they always ended the relationship with the usual "You're too much like my brother." or "You're a too good of a friend.". I still speak with one of the ladies till this very day. I have awesome female friends and I couldn't imagine my world without them. I owe much to them. I was even engaged for a short time. I hold nothing against the opposite sex. The whole engagement thing is not a path that I want to go down again unless it is with the man of my dreams. I have been in and out of activity in my church mostly on the side of activity. I'm finding it harder and harder to stay active too. Some of it maybe because my testimony has faded, in other words my beliefs have faded a little bit. This fading of my beliefs doesn't mean that I'm anti-church it just means that for a while I was stalled without much growth. Any way, not sure why I felt the need to put this out there, but I did and so here it is.

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